Navigating friendships with PMDD: boundaries, one-liner explanations, and real talk
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Summary: Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) doesn’t just disrupt your mood - it changes how you connect with others. In this article, we explore how PMDD affects friendships, reflect on healthy boundaries, and discuss how to communicate with the people you care about, even when words are hard to find.
When friendship feels too hard
You love your people, and you want to show up for them.But when PMDD hits, your brain tells you to disappear.
This is the reality for many living with PMDD. As Evelyn ambassador Ellisha Blake explains:
“I tend to ghost people for seven to ten days during my luteal phase. When I come out of that, it can affect the relationship. That’s why we have to communicate more when we’re not in it.”
→ Read Ellisha’s full story in our relationship guide
Why PMDD disrupts friendships
What's happening hormonally?
In the luteal phase (the two weeks before menstruation starts), progesterone rises and then plummets. For those with PMDD, this can trigger:
- Intense mood swings
- Social withdrawal
- Low self-worth
- Sensory overwhelm
- Exhaustion or rage
It’s not a mindset, it’s a neurological shift – and it changes how you relate to others.
Kristina Goodsell, an Evelyn ambassador, has this to say:
“When I’m in the pits of PMDD, I feel like a burden. And when I’m out of it, I feel guilty all over again.”
Ways to say 'I care, I just can't right now'
You don’t owe anyone a full explanation every time. But these simple lines help maintain connection without draining you:
- "I'm in my PMDD phase - low energy, but still thinking of you. Thank for being patient with me."
- "I want to catch up, I just can't right now. I'll resurface soon."
- "I'm not ghosting you, i'm just in 'protecting my peace' mode this week."
🔗 Read more: Communication starters from the Evelyn relationship guide.
Setting boundaries is not being selfish
People with PMDD often feel guilty for needing space. But setting boundaries is a kindness to yourself and your friends.
- You don't have to say yes to every invitation
- You can cancel with just one sentence
- You can be loved even when you're feeling low
As Ellisha says:
“Sometimes not asking a question is the best support. Just saying, “Thinking of you. No pressure.” That’s enough.”
The best friends will...
- Track your cycle with you
- Accept 'maybe' as a plan
- Know when to check in without demanding energy
- Share memes, quotes or voice notes just to show you're still loved
- Reappear after quiet spells - no questions asked
This is emotional fluency, and the right people will learn your language.
What you can do in your follicular phase
You don’t have to fix everything, but planning for connection while you’re feeling strong can make PMDD feel less chaotic later.
📝 Tips:
- Record a voice memo for your luteal self.
- Schedule coffees for your ‘up’ week.
- Let your friends know your cycle pattern (pilot the turbulence, don’t just ride it).
🎧 Try recording a message to your luteal-phase self. You’ll believe your affirmations more when you’re feeling okay.
→ More self-care strategies from Ellisha
PMS and PMDD don't just impact romantic relationships
From the Evelyn relationship guide:
“Feeling misunderstood by your parents can be awful. Cancelling on a friend last-minute can feel guilt-ridden. And with PMDD, it’s not just “one bad week” – it’s a pattern.”
Friendships need:
- communication
- compassion
- context
Our guide offers scripts, advice for friends and family, and affirmation-based tools for connection.
You're not too much
You are worthy of friendship – even when you’re quiet, even when you cancel, even when you disappear.
Evelyn exists to help women own their cycle – not be defined by it.
Explore our non-hormonal, evidence-based support for PMDD
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Disclaimer: This content is for informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always speak to a qualified healthcare professional about any health concerns.